Vietnam Evangelical Covenant Church – The garden needs attentive care and cultivation. When weeds spring up, they must be pulled out by the roots right away, or they will grow back, eventually take over and kill the garden.
Marriage is like a garden: if it is cared for, it blossoms and bears fruit; if it is neglected, weeds quickly spring up. This article shares four ways for husbands and wives to cultivate the garden of their marriage with God as the Gardener. Scripture quotations are from the Berean Standard Bible (BSB).
So how do we care for and nurture our marriage?
4 Ways to Tend Your Marriage Like a Garden
1. Let the Gardener (God) tend your garden by letting Him do the planting (see Ephesians 5:25–33)
It is very important for a husband and wife to recognize that their marriage is a picture of Jesus and His church. The husband represents Jesus and the wife represents the church. The husband loves and sacrifices for his wife, and in response to his love, the wife respects and follows her husband’s leadership (Ephesians 5:25–33).
2. Let the Gardener tend your garden through the work of Jesus
God cares for our garden by placing His grace in our lives through Jesus. In Christ:
- We are forever forgiven (Ephesians 1:7).
- We are righteous as Jesus is (Romans 5:9).
- We are loved (Ephesians 1:5).
- We are reconciled to God (Romans 5:10).
- We are reborn with the life of Jesus (Galatians 2:20).
- We are God’s temple and dwelling place (Ephesians 2:19–22).
- We are sealed and filled with the Holy Spirit (Ephesians 1:13; 5:18).
- We are the body of Christ (1 Corinthians 12:12).
The nourishment of grace, when received and acted on by faith, keeps our garden green and healthy.
3. Grow your garden by gardening
A great marriage takes great work:
- Read books on marriage.
- Attend marriage seminars.
- Get marriage counseling.
- Go on dates.
4. Pull weeds immediately!
In 15 years of counseling married couples, I have seen unforgiveness lead to a sick pattern of character, bitterness and contempt. If a wife feels unloved, she will withhold respect from her husband. Likewise, a husband will withhold love from his wife if he feels disrespected. This is a vicious, devilish cycle of destruction that leads to divorce.
Forgiveness, grace and connection are the heartbeat of a healthy marriage:
- Study your spouse; learn their love language.
- Spend special time with each other.
- Communicate clearly.
- Protect your integrity. Don’t meet alone with someone of the opposite sex.
I pray these practices will help us have beautiful gardens. Put them into practice.
Caring for the Garden of Marriage Every Day
Marriage is like a garden in that it cannot be tended once and then left alone. Small things every day, a thank-you, a meal together, a prayer together, are the water for that garden. That is why we say marriage is like a garden that needs daily care.
Weeds in marriage are often small unresolved frustrations, disrespectful words or long silences. Pull them early through forgiveness and honest conversation, before they take deep root.
This week, you and your spouse could spend thirty minutes together asking, “What in our garden is flourishing, and what needs more care?” Then pray together, asking God the Gardener to keep cultivating your family.
You may also like: Bible Verses About Marriage and 10 Tips for Christian Parents.
Prayer
Lord, thank You for the gift of marriage. Be the Gardener who tends our family; pull out the weeds of pride and bitterness, and make our love for each other flourish more and more. In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.
Article: Communications Ministry – Vietnam Evangelical Covenant Church
Adapted from: ChristianityToday.com
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