Vietnam Evangelical Covenant Church – “What should we do about our kids?” A group of parents sat together in my office, in tears, asking questions about their children.
Many parents and leaders are troubled to see teenagers drift away from the church as they grow up. This article shares three important things that help youth stay in church, keep walking with God and serve Him as adults. Scripture quotations are from the Berean Standard Bible (BSB).
I am a youth pastor, and I was surprised that this time the parents in our church were not talking about rebellious teens who loved parties and drinking. This time they were telling stories about “good Christian kids,” raised in Christian homes and nurtured in the church, who abandoned the faith when they went off to college.
These young people had been in the youth group, took part in many church youth activities, were eager on short-term mission trips and served in several ministries as teenagers.
But now they are not involved in any ministry at all. Although these grieving parents suggested sending someone to give special spiritual care to their children at college, I did not really think that would address the root of the problem.
The statistics on college students attending church grieve and confuse us. What did our church do wrong? What did the youth ministry do wrong? Reports and surveys do not seem to pinpoint the problem. And there is no simple solution to bring these lost young people back to church other than continuing to pray and sow the gospel into their lives.
However, we can look at the young people in their twenties who are committed and serving in ministries in churches. What has helped them remain faithful in church? Here are a few of my observations about such young people, which I hope those who lead youth will consider and apply:
1. Youth Need to Be Transformed
The apostle Paul did not use phrases like “nominal Christian” or “pretty good kid.” We might say, “Sure, this teen did something wrong, but he’s a good kid.” Remember, Scripture does not talk that way.
When we face the transformation Scripture describes, we know a radical change is needed: “Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away. Behold, the new has come!” (2 Corinthians 5:17).
We pastors, leaders and youth workers need to look again at salvation for what it truly is: a miracle of God’s glorious power through the work of the Holy Spirit. Good kids are not enough. We need transformed kids.
We should not be satisfied just because they attend youth group and fun camps. We need to get on our knees and pray that the Holy Spirit will do His wonderful work of redemption in each heart. In short, we need to focus on transformation. How many of us are preaching a “gospel without transformation”?
Those of you serving the next generation: we must preach, teach and talk with teens, while praying earnestly for the miraculous work of regeneration to happen in their hearts and souls by the power of the Holy Spirit.
When that happens, surely “the old has passed away” and “the new has come.” We will not be working with a group of “nominal Christians.” We will be ready to teach, disciple and equip the future generation of church leaders, “new creations” who long to know and share God’s Word. These are young people transformed to keep loving Jesus and serving the church.
2. Youth Need to Be Equipped (Not Just Entertained)
We recently had a “guys’ day” for some of the boys in our youth group. We started with a basketball game at the park, then played video games and finished the afternoon with pizza and soda.
I am not against fun youth activities (let’s not debate whether those were right or wrong), but pastors and youth leaders need to keep reminding themselves of Ephesians 4:11–12:
“And it was He who gave some to be apostles, some to be prophets, some to be evangelists, and some to be pastors and teachers, to equip the saints for works of ministry, to build up the body of Christ.”
Christ gives us the gift of teaching the church, not just to have fun together or build friendships. He brings us into the church to “equip” those who carry out the gospel mission, to build up His church.
However well I preach, if I do not equip teens to share the gospel, disciple new believers and lead Bible studies, I have not fulfilled my calling. For their salvation, we can only pray.
But once they are transformed, our God-given task is to fan the flame of faith so that they serve, lead, teach and grow. If our students graduate without a habit of reading the Bible, Bible study skills and an example of discipleship and prayer, we have failed them. We have entertained them rather than equipped them. That is a tragedy.
Forget the youth programs for a moment. Will today’s teens hold on to their faith when they go to college or start working? Will they join a new church and begin serving God there without anyone reminding them? Are we equipping them to the best of our ability, or simply giving them a fun, comfortable time together?
We don’t need youth groups that just have fun; we need to equip from within the church so they can teach, lead and serve. Set aside your youth ministry plans, look at one teenager and ask yourself: “How can I best equip this young person over the next four years? So that when I see them in ten years, they have become a deacon or leader in the church, or a Sunday school teacher for children?”
3. Youth Need Parents Who Teach Them God’s Word
As a youth pastor, I cannot do all of this. All the equipping I have described is beyond my ability. I cannot bring transformation to these teens, and I cannot equip them effectively at church if their families do not continue the equipping at home.
The former youth group members now serving in churches usually have one thing in common: God’s Word was central in their homes. The young adults in their twenties who are serving, leading and running ministry for the next generation are the children whose parents brought them to church.
As children, their parents disciplined them and held them accountable when they rebelled. They heard their parents read the Bible every evening. Their parents were strict, but they were following God’s Word for their children’s good.
Of course this is not a formula that works in every case. Some children from Christian homes still walk away from God, and some from broken homes serve Him wholeheartedly once they truly experience Him. These things happen, but rarely. In general, children who grow up with parents who love God, love each other and love their children will also become Christians who love and serve God.
Proverbs 22:6 is not a 100 percent guarantee, but it gives us a principle from God’s wonderful plan, and God delights when His wonderful words are passed down through the generations: “Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it” (Proverbs 22:6).
Youth leaders, pray earnestly for true transformation; that is God’s work. Equip them for the work of the church; that is your part. Parents, teach God’s Word to your children and live a gospel-filled life; every church ministry depends on you.
Walking With Teenagers Today
Teenagers do not need a perfect program, but adults who truly love God and love them. Take time to listen, answer hard questions about faith and give them real opportunities to serve in the church.
If you are a parent, start a short weekly Bible reading time with your child. What children remember longest is not a sermon, but the picture of their parents living authentically with God at home.
You may also like: 5 Important Life Lessons We Can Learn From Our Elders and 10 Tips for Christian Parents.
Prayer
Lord, we lift up to You the teenagers in our families and church. Transform their hearts, equip them with Your Word and keep them faithful in serving You all their lives. In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.
Article: Communications Ministry – Vietnam Evangelical Covenant Church
Adapted from: TheGospelCoalition.org
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