Don’t Be Yourself

Đừng là chính mình

Vietnam Evangelical Covenant Church – “For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Walk as children of light.” (Ephesians 5:8)

The world often says, “Be yourself.” But Scripture shows that our old self needs to be changed at the root. This article explains why Christians are called don’t be yourself in the way the world means it, but to be the new person in Christ. Scripture quotations are from the Berean Standard Bible (BSB).

Everyone who dealt with her was afraid. Her voice was like a kicked beehive, stinging anyone nearby. Her words pierced like a sword (Proverbs 12:18). Her tongue crushed the spirit (Proverbs 15:4). She spoke words of death (Proverbs 18:21). Those who saw her coming braced themselves.

Her philosophy was like that of a former roommate who, after eating too much Chinese food, would laugh and say, “Better out than in.” She had to let her harsh words out, no matter how uncomfortable others in the room felt.

And no one could be offended, because as people often reminded each other, “That’s just how she is.” Complaining about her was like complaining that water is wet and rocks are hard. Everything has its nature, and she had her personality. In this view, her personality could not be changed, a plain scientific fact she could do nothing about. Grumbling about her was like grumbling about biology. Polite conversation was just not who she was. Courtesy was not her core nature. Rumor had it she was born that way.

Don’t Be Yourself

“Be yourself,” “Be true to yourself” and “Always be you” are the life mottos of many in our time. And when people live that way, courtesy gives way to nature, self-actualization beats self-discipline, and self-centeredness is expressed without criticism.

Subtly, we can bring this philosophy into the church. Even though Scripture’s commands contradict it, every description of sin condemns it, and every mention of God’s holiness and judgment warns against it, we still excuse sinful tendencies as personality.

  • Her? She’s just strong and independent; that’s why she doesn’t submit to her husband.
  • Him? Don’t worry, he doesn’t mean to be cold to everyone. He’s just shy and introverted.
  • Yes, he doesn’t lead spiritually, but don’t be upset. He’s just not deep; that’s not him.
  • Why isn’t she growing in her knowledge of God’s Word? She’s just not a reader.
  • Why does he seem to flirt with every girl he meets? Don’t judge. He’s just fun-loving; that’s who he is.

This unquestionable defense of personality runs against the biblical view. Our personalities must bow to God’s standards, never the other way around:

  • Wives, submit to your husbands, whether or not you are strong-willed.
  • Introverts, be warm and kind, even when you tend to withdraw for your own space.
  • Husbands, lead your wives and wash them with the water of the Word, even if you would rather stay shallow.
  • Christians, meditate on God’s Word day and night, even if you haven’t read a book since high school.
  • Romeos, stop toying with girls’ hearts, even if it comes easily to you.

“You Must Be Born Again”

Since the fall, being ourselves has been contrary to God’s will. Since the fall, our true nature is nothing more than self-centered; it hates God by refusing to honor Him above all. That is why your true self deserves death.

And here is the scandal of the gospel: it says that every man, woman and child, whether criminal, “good person,” religious or otherwise, must be born again to enter the kingdom of God (John 3:3). The gospel tells us that the unrepentant person, the one “true to their nature,” stands under the threat of God’s wrath and is storing up judgment (Romans 2:4–5).

Whether you are Mr. Rogers, Gandhi or Stalin, being your “true self” does not produce the righteousness God requires. We all need the righteousness of God given freely to us in Jesus Christ (Philippians 3:8–11), and we all need to become new creations by the Holy Spirit to enter God’s kingdom (John 3:5). Jesus did not say, “Be your true self.” He said, “You must be born again” (John 3:7).

Become Something Greater

Jesus died on the cross so we could be born again. He bore the Father’s wrath while we were still “being ourselves,” and He gives the Holy Spirit to make us new creations in Him. The Holy Spirit lives in those who are born again to make us leave our old nature behind more and more.

Our new self is a better person than we can imagine. We were not created to reflect perfected versions of ourselves, but to reflect the image of God Himself. He also predestined us for salvation to make us like His Son (Romans 8:29), the One whom, as C.S. Lewis observed in The Weight of Glory, we would be tempted to worship if we saw Him as He truly is.

So “be yourself” is good advice only when it means “be that person: the new person in Christ.” Paul repeats this theme in his letters: “For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Walk as children of light” (Ephesians 5:8).

In other words, Paul teaches Christians to become who they are in Christ. We walk as children of light, not to become light, but because, through the work of our almighty God, we already are light. We live as new creations with new love and new joy because, by the Spirit’s renewing work, we already are new creations (2 Corinthians 5:17).

We become who we were made to be as we behold Christ and are transformed into His likeness (2 Corinthians 3:18). We don’t stare inward and become what we see, but look outward to see Him, and others who are like Him, and by the Spirit imitate what we see (Philippians 3:17).

Don’t be yourself. Be something greater: the person God destined you to be, yourself in Christ Jesus.

Living as a New Creation

The advice “don’t be yourself” does not mean rejecting the personality or gifts God has given, but refusing to let the old self define us. In Christ we are new creations, and our true identity comes from Him.

Every day, choose to “put off the old self” and “put on the new self” through small decisions: how you speak, how you think and how you treat others.

You may also like: Lay Aside the Weight of Perfectionism and Christians and Sin.

Prayer

Lord, thank You for making us new in Christ. Help us not to live by the old self, but to become more like Jesus every day. In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

Article: Translation Team – Communications Ministry, Vietnam Evangelical Covenant Church
Adapted from: DesiringGod.org

Read more articles in Relationships, or find a church near you on our Locations page. Contact the church office: 0942 248 688 (Zalo available).