Vietnam Evangelical Covenant Church – “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 4:6–7)
Disappointment comes when what we hoped for doesn’t happen: a plan falls apart, a prayer goes unanswered or someone lets us down. These six steps help you find your way out of disappointment with God. Scripture quotations are from the Berean Standard Bible (BSB).
Your girlfriend dumps you. Your family is in conflict. Your spouse is unfaithful. Your best friend betrays you. Your fiancé breaks off the engagement. The coach cuts you from the team. A faction in the church wants you to stop your ministry. You suffer injustice. The church rejects you. Your wife leaves and won’t let you see the children. You still cannot have a child.
Many emotions are stirred by these painful experiences, but disappointment dominates them all. Hopes are shattered. Dreams are dashed. Expectations are unmet. Outside events and other people’s decisions cause painful disappointment. It is the opposite of the hope and joy that look forward. Instead, it looks back with anger, bitterness, resentment, sadness and despair.
You simply cannot escape disappointment in this broken world (see Ecclesiastes). For all the optimism of graduation speeches that fill wide-eyed students with hope every spring, sooner or later it will all end in disappointment. Friends and family will disappoint them. Employers will disappoint them. So will their country. At times they will feel that God has disappointed them too.
If disappointment is unavoidable, how do we recover?
6 Steps Out of Disappointment
1. Prepare
First, prepare, but don’t become a nihilist. If we adopt a realistic attitude toward this world, we will expect disappointment without being shaken or swept away when it comes. That is not defeatism or pessimism but realism. It still involves expecting and enjoying the kindness and goodness of God and others. But we should not fall into overconfidence and complacency either. In this way we guard ourselves for a passing world without losing the joy of rejoicing in God when things go well (see Psalm 104 and Psalm 136).
2. Share
Share your disappointment. Tell God what you are going through. Be completely honest and hide nothing. Express what you are feeling. Or if you cannot put it into words, weep before Him (Psalm 56:8) and ask Him to interpret and treasure your tears.
Or you can use the words of the psalms of lament (for example, Psalms 44, 60, 74, 79, 88). These psalms contain much God-centered therapy for the disappointed. Notice that the psalmist does not try to hide his disappointment from God. He knows that hiding and denial never lead to healing.
But don’t only talk to God; also confide in your brothers and sisters in Christ. We need all the help we can get at such times. So while we cast all our anxiety on God, knowing that He cares for us (1 Peter 5:7), we also ask fellow believers to share the burden of our disappointment (Galatians 6:2).
3. Remember
Remember that Jesus tasted deep disappointment during His days on earth. His disciples repeatedly let Him down. All of them deserted Him, one denied Him and one even betrayed Him. He understands the pain and weariness you are going through. He can sympathize with you and help you in your distress (Hebrews 4:15). He is a friend who sticks closer than a brother (Proverbs 18:24). He will never leave you or forsake you.
4. Submit
Submit and accept in humility rather than fighting in pride, in order to come through this dark valley into the light. Taking revenge on those who disappointed us or raging against God accomplishes nothing. No, we must confess, “Lord, I don’t understand why they did this or why You allowed it. But I bow to Your sovereignty and trust that You know best and that it is for my good.” This does not mean justice should not be pursued when we are treated unjustly, but that we entrust the administration of justice to God and to those He has appointed for that task.
5. Grow
Use disappointment for growth in holiness and service. For holiness, turn your pain into a resolve never to cause the same pain to others if you can help it. Or look back over your life, think of times you disappointed others and see whether you can make it right in a godly way. You can also use disappointment to serve others by comforting the disappointed around you with the comfort you have received from God (2 Corinthians 1:4).
6. Hope
Finally, rekindle eternal hope. When earthly hopes are dashed, even for a time, Christians still have a heavenly hope that no disappointment can take away. In fact, earthly disappointments help redirect our hope to spiritual and eternal hope. There will be a day, an eternal day in the not-too-distant future, when all disappointment is removed and all things are not only made new but stay new forever; every source of disappointment will be taken away, and all our hopes will be fulfilled (Revelation 21:1–8).
When You Are Disappointed, Don’t Walk Alone
Disappointment is not a sin, but if it lingers, it can lead to bitterness or distance from God. Bring your disappointment to Him honestly, as the psalmists did.
Remember that God can use even what disappoints you for your good. Romans 8:28 reminds us that God works all things together for the good of those who love Him.
You may also like: 10 Bible Verses About Hope and 3 Truths to Remember in the Storms of Life.
Prayer
Lord, You know what is disappointing us. Heal our hearts, help us submit to Your will and find hope again in You. In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.
Article: Nhật Tân
Adapted from: DesiringGod.org
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