Vietnam Evangelical Covenant Church – Many of us spend quite a lot of time being upset when we don’t receive the appreciation we deserve for our work and service. This temptation easily wounds us, and in the end we are hurt by the very people closest to us: our spouse, children, friends, coworkers and even our boss.
Everyone has at times felt unappreciated: serving in the church without anyone mentioning it, working hard without recognition. That feeling easily leads to bitterness if we do not bring it before God. Scripture quotations are from the Berean Standard Bible (BSB).
Yet that anger and irritation need not take hold of a true Christian. God equips His people with spiritual guidance to help us rise above temptation and guilt. With the following five approaches, we can show God’s grace to those around us, even when we feel unappreciated:
5 Ways to Cope When You Feel Unappreciated
1. Remember that others need the same forgiveness we do
“For with the same judgment you pronounce, you will be judged; and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.” (Matthew 7:2)
Before we judge the shortcomings of those around us, we must first look at ourselves. Remember that God knows what it feels like to be unappreciated, because we ourselves have forgotten to thank Him for answering our prayers. It often takes us a long time to realize we have not shown Him our gratitude. Sometimes we need to forgive others just as God has not condemned our ingratitude.
2. Refuse wrong attitudes
“Now may the God who gives endurance and encouragement grant you harmony with one another in Christ Jesus.” (Romans 15:5)
We may be tempted to nurse resentment toward those who don’t appreciate us. But if we want to be like Christ, we must use this opportunity to forgive them. This is a challenge if we want to keep a pure heart before God. Praying and asking for the Holy Spirit’s guidance will help us have a forgiving heart and focus on Him rather than on the people who frustrate us.
3. See it as a learning opportunity from God
“So that you may walk in a manner worthy of the Lord and may please Him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God.” (Colossians 1:10)
God never lets anything happen without purpose, even our failures. Instead, He uses them to train us and reveal what is truly in our hearts. As Christians, we keep loving and serving even those who are ungrateful. This has a great impact on building God’s kingdom. Such behavior is not what people normally do, and others will be changed by God’s presence in our lives.
4. Restore broken relationships
“Finally, brothers, rejoice! Aim for perfect harmony, encourage one another, be of one mind, and live in peace. And the God of love and peace will be with you.” (2 Corinthians 13:11)
Have you ever easily lost your temper with an “ungrateful” person? The problem is not only that you lose control, but that the other person often has no idea how you really feel. If we are hurt, it is important to stay calm and seek forgiveness in our words, actions and attitude. This can be an opportunity to grow our relationships. We gain the most when we show abundant love and humility instead of anger and irritation.
5. Stay grateful even when you are not appreciated
“Give thanks in every circumstance, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” (1 Thessalonians 5:18)
The best way to deal with ungrateful people is to thank God for everything He has given. We will sense something of the wonderful things God does for this world every day. He is behind every good thing we all receive and enjoy: He gives the sun for light, the rain for our crops and so much more. Our thanksgiving will show God’s grace to those who live and work around us.
Conclusion
If you practice these five approaches regularly, they will become habits in your life. You will become more aware of expressing gratitude to God and to those around you. This will also create an environment that nurtures gratitude, where others learn from you to express their own thanks.
Serving for God, Not for Praise
Colossians 3:23–24 reminds us to do everything “as for the Lord and not for men,” knowing that we will receive our reward from the Lord. When our motivation for serving rests in God, feeling unappreciated will no longer knock us down.
At the same time, be someone who appreciates others. This week, send a specific thank-you to someone who is quietly serving in your church or family.
You may also like: Lay Aside the Weight of Perfectionism and 16 Bible Verses About Forgiveness.
Prayer
Lord, when we feel unappreciated, remind us that You see everything we do. Guard our hearts from bitterness and help us serve out of love for You. In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.
Article: Communications Ministry – Vietnam Evangelical Covenant Church
Adapted from: WhatChristiansWantToKnow.com
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