Vietnam Evangelical Covenant Church – The woman praised in Proverbs 31 is not an unattainable standard; she embodies the standard of godliness, what we today would call being “like Christ.” As we follow her example, and the way of life that flows from her faith, we will be blessed, and be a blessing to others.
Proverbs 31 describes the virtuous woman whose worth is far above rubies. Many women read this passage and feel pressure because they cannot do everything she does. This article helps us see that the Proverbs 31 woman is not a distant standard, but a picture of godliness. Scripture quotations are from the Berean Standard Bible (BSB).
When we search God’s Word for guidance on being the best wife and mother we can be, we cannot skip Proverbs 31. Who would not want to be as capable, industrious, strong, devoted to her family and courageous as this woman?
But like most ordinary people, many of us tend to shrink back when this seemingly perfect woman is held up as our example. Who can find her, indeed! Many of us lack the skill and creativity to sew our family’s clothes. I am not sure I have ever met anyone who stays up as late and gets up as early as this woman.
If the Proverbs 31 woman only stirs up guilt that even our best day falls short of our calling, what help does she offer to a woman striving to honor God?
What Did She Do?
God never prods us to feel guilty for gifts or abilities He has not given us, or for not doing well when our bodies do not allow it. So if the Proverbs 31 woman only makes us feel guilty or inadequate, we have probably not understood her the way God intended.
Part of the confusion may come from the present-tense verbs in our translations. One Old Testament scholar notes that the verbs in Proverbs 31 are in the past tense. The present tense can imply that one woman does all these things in a single season of life, but the reading Jason DeRouchie offers suggests these verses summarize a fruitful life over many years of faithful labor, highlighting the faithful things she did at different times in her life.
If he is right, it brings me relief as I reflect on my past efforts and as I try to be a godly woman today.
The Woman Behind the Woman
However we translate the verbs, we miss what the Proverbs 31 woman says to women today if we only look at what she does. She will only produce guilt and shame if we study the passage for a to-do list rather than for the spirit and motivation that drive her.
We find several clues to what guides her wise heart in this passage, but the most important motivation, the one that drives everything she does, comes at the end. We should read the whole chapter, every verb, in light of the verb in verse 30: “Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised” (Proverbs 31:30).
This woman fears God. In fact, that verse says it is the reason she is praised. The Proverbs 31 woman fears the Lord; in other words, she sees wisdom in submitting to what God tells her to do and honoring Him all her life. And what is “the fear of the Lord” in Proverbs? It is the beginning of wisdom (Proverbs 1:7, 29; 2:5; 9:10; 15:33).
It is her heart’s desire to honor God with her whole life, and therefore to live with true wisdom, that God wants women to take as an example and follow. When you go back and read what she does in the light of verse 30, you begin to sense the spirit of this woman.
Trustworthy
A woman who fears God wants to love and respect her husband. Clearly, the husband in Proverbs 31 affirms her efforts: “The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he lacks nothing of value” (Proverbs 31:11). This is not a general trust, but trust from the depths of his heart.
And that trust is well placed, because verse 12 says, “She brings him good and not evil all the days of her life.” She does not do him good only occasionally, but every day, even when she feels she has reason to be angry or annoyed with him. Her husband’s trust is very important to her. She wants him to be able to confide in her and know she will heed his counsel. She guards his reputation and does not speak badly of him to others. Clearly, he can fully trust that she will keep her commitments. She manages the household in a way that lets him rest easy in entrusting it to her.
Does your husband trust you? Do you conduct your private and public life so that he has every reason to trust you? Do you speak well of your husband, always? We do not need special abilities to be trustworthy; we simply need to treasure our husbands in a way that respects them and honors God.
Hardworking
There is no debate that the Proverbs 31 woman works very hard. She has many talents and does many things, but the point of the passage is not to command every woman to do everything she did. The point is that we should be willing to work hard at what God has called us to, and it pleases Him when we long to do our work as excellently as we can.
This woman has no time to compare herself with others. She is clearly not obsessed with “me time.” “She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness” (Proverbs 31:27). She does not waste time. Instead, she spends it on worthwhile activities. There is no sign of complaining or grumbling about her responsibilities. She cares for her family and others, always with a willing spirit.
With God’s help, all of us can work hard, make good use of our time, and bring a willing and kind spirit to what we do, just as she did.
Strong
Verse 17 says, “She wraps herself in strength and shows that her arms are strong.” Physical strength, caring for the temple of her body, is a priority. Her “workout” is not a trip to the gym, but getting up and moving, eating properly and taking on physically demanding tasks.
And physical strength is not the only strength mentioned here. She does not fear the weather (Proverbs 31:21), or much else. “Strength and honor are her clothing, and she can laugh at the days to come” (Proverbs 31:25). She is strong in wisdom (Proverbs 31:26). She is not a worrier; she smiles at the future. You will not find her overly concerned with what others think of her.
A godly woman is ultimately free to be truly strong. She does not worry about what she cannot control. She trusts God to help and care for her and her family in ways she cannot, so she does what she can. The loving God rules over her family’s future. Her part is to live, work and love in a way that glorifies Him. God will take care of the rest, and His Son has covered her shortcomings with His own blood.
Kind and Caring
Verse 26 says, “Faithful instruction is on her tongue.” We see evidence of how she lives this out as she does her husband good every day (Proverbs 31:12), her children rise up and call her blessed (Proverbs 31:28), and she opens her arms to the poor and reaches out her hands to the needy (Proverbs 31:20). Do the people around us delight in our kindness and care? All of us, with God’s help, can treat the people God has placed in our lives kindly, and we can all give time, talents and gifts to help those less fortunate.
Fearing the Lord
The woman praised in Proverbs 31 is not an unattainable standard; she embodies the standard of godliness, what we today would call being “like Christ.” These verses should inspire us to long for her fear of the Lord, her devotion to earning her husband’s trust, her work ethic, her strength and her kindness.
Her heart, mind and body were strengthened by her devotion to God, for the family and the work entrusted to her care. As we follow her example, and the way of life that flows from her faith, we will be blessed, and be a blessing to others.
Becoming a Virtuous Woman Today
What makes a virtuous woman is not a to-do list, but the conclusion of the passage: “a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.” Every other quality flows from her relationship with God.
Choose one of the five qualities above and ask God to grow it in you during this season of life. And if you are a husband or a child, don’t forget to praise the virtuous woman in your family.
You may also like: Bible Verses About Marriage and Yesterday, Postpartum and Forever.
Prayer
Lord, thank You for the virtuous women in our families and church. Grow in every sister the fear of You, diligence, kindness and the strength that comes from You. In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.
Article: Communications Ministry – Vietnam Evangelical Covenant Church
Adapted from: DesiringGod.org
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